Saturday, May 27, 2006

About Commas and Years

Hello there. Flea here. To be more specific Flea23. I’m the 23rd generation of flea. I’m barely out of my tens. I’m only 200000 years old. But don’t worry. That’s flea years, not human. You see, it’s not using the base ten, as humans know how to number their numbers. It’s actually based on the square root of the half life of a chem light battery. That’s how we arrive at the fact that there are no commas in our numbering system. Unless, of course, you do use commas. In this case, we use the full root of a full life of a chem light battery. Then, the result would be something like 2.,0.,0.0.,0.,0. Years old. As you can see, this would be very confusing and very tedious, which is why most of us have quit using commas altogether.

I am expected to live to the age of perfection, which is 1000000 years old. At this point in time, I will have ceased to be flea23 and all my wit and wisdom will have imparted to my successor generation, flea24.

So you can see, there is no relation between regular years and generational fleas. Now here, I must stop again. When I say generational fleas, I’m not talking about your regular fleas. I’m talking about the generational fleas. Let me explain. Regular fleas are bloodsuckers. The generational fleas are not. Regular fleas are the product of evolution. They crawl up out of the ocean and everything, become monkeys, and then, well, you know - they become fleas. They went through the evolutionary process like everything else. First, they mutated into fish, then they mutated into monkeys. They finally succumbed to the temptation of "survival of the fittest", and became the modern flea - you know, the blood suckers. Therefore, in man’s terminology, this modern flea has been around for six hundred billion years.

Wait. I must interject something once again. You see, the theory of evolution, (and it is a theory - most people forget that) requires the presence of "billions and billions of years". In order to explain "survival of the fittest", they have to use those billions of years. The more buliminous the years, the better. Sounds more educated. In some places, they are already using the trillion year method.

What I don’t understand is: why don’t they just use the reasoning of the generational fleas? Why go into the billions and trillions of years instead of calling it the 23rd generation or whatever, like as in flea23?

For some odd and inhuman reason, the scientists among the humans can’t agree with the concept of "God said". If God said it, it can not be true, they say. They go into all this far fetched convoluted detail to explain something which they can’t explain. It’s like talking in circles. They do their best to try to prove that God don’t know what He’s talking about. Then try to make us think they know what they’re talking about. I know what I was talking about. I was there.

Anyway, I’m getting off track. Flea23 just means that I’m on the 23rd plateau on the plane of perfection, which, as I mentioned is 1000000.

I’ve spoken of regular fleas. I’m of the generational fleas who completely by passed evolution. We are the way we were made back then on the day of creation. Those fleas who opted for evolution devolved into it. Evolution is always a devolution. That means they sink lower and lower. In the case of fleas, they turned from smart, intelligent little critters into blood suckers. Those of us who by-passed it have kept our wit, wisdom, intelligence and, ahem, our good looks. Well, heck, when was the last time you ever saw an ugly disgusting flea? Oh yeah? That was no generational flea. That was a Darwinian flea. You know him. He’s the one who convinced my cousins to go through the evolutionary process.

.................I could not bring my passions from a common spring........

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